Eight ounces, every three hours

So, I read this article on CNN.com detailing a woman's amazing 200-plus pound weight loss journey. In a nutshell, she lost the weight following these tips: 1. Eat 8 ounces of food every 3 hours 2. no sugary drinks. 3. Don't skip meals. 4. Don't tell anyone what you're doing.

I thought to myself, "Self, this sounds like an effective way to lose some weight." And as someone who has tried all diets known to man plus a few I made up myself, I am always on the lookout for a way to leave my excess weight behind me.

I decided to follow these simple rules and see what happens. Except I'm only following three of the rules, because I'm going to tell EVERYONE what I'm doing. I'm warning you now: there may be whining. Copious amounts of it. Because today, on my first day of what I'm unofficially calling "The CNN Diet," I am going to tell you this:

Eight ounces of food is not very much. And I am STARVING. In fact, even as I write this the cats are moving cautiously away from me in the fear that I might possibly shake a little salt on them and start gnawing on one of their legs.

Around 11 a.m. I ate a Kashi granola bar, plus a corner of a second one because there are only 7 ounces in each bar and I was not going to be cheated, dammit. After three hours, I realized I needed to desperately buy a food scale unless I wanted to eat nothing but Kashi bars for the rest of my life. I ate a half of a peanut butter sandwich because that was the same size as the Kashi bar and therefore had to be in the ballpark of 8 ounces.

And now, a few hours later... the cats are fearing for their lives.

I think today is going to be the hardest. Hopefully by tomorrow my body will have gotten a little more used to the idea of eating a whole lot less.

If anyone needs me, I'll be here, salting the cats.